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Wednesday, March 18, 2015

The Hubbard - 18 March 2015


The Hubbard is Tourdecouch's lighter look at the world of pro cycling, with a bit of news curation on the side.

Lance Armstrong announces he will ride some charity event at TDF:




The Unsigned Note

From white noise to white message: Brian Nygaard, PR man at Orica Green Edge received this email:


The Hubbard thought of several riders who may have hit the send button without finishing their messages and discovered:

Option 1:  "Hi it's Cadel. Im getting bored of this BMC brand ambassador thingy. Plus, I have been put on the household cleaning roster. You saw me at the TDU, I've got one more season in me. Oh no, gotta go, I see a pair of marigolds with my name on them."



Option 2: "Help. I'm sending this while my phone still has battery. Oleg doesn't know I send this, as he has me in a room somewhere. They let me out each day for Tirreno Adriatico, where I won a stage. I thought that would be enough but they still locked me up after. Please hurry, it is almost time for the classics, and they said I have to attend sexual harassment training."


Option 3: "Hi Brian. I am bullshitting the media - Astana is screwed. Where else am I to go? Garmin? LOLs.

 

Greg van Avermaet double booked for Belgian Cycling Federation disciplinary hearing. Federation surprised he was not washing his hair



Tim Kerrison wonders how he puts on these Speedos 



One person who knows how to put on a banana hammock is Richie Porte. Richie attributed his recent Paris Nice success to his off season swimming, as ordered by Tim Kerrison himself. Richie didn't ell us this at the Tour Down Under. Rohan Dennis' offy must've also gone along swimmingly.

David Millar not, not invited to speak to CIRC

The Hubbard often wonders why pro riders find it hard to believe cycling fans don't trust anything they say.  After seeing David Millar's piece on CIRC and how he dealt with it afterwards on social media, we won't die wondering.

"My first feeling on finishing reading the CIRC report was one of disappointment. I didn’t speak to CIRC. They ‘invited’ me. Only they forgot I was then an active professional cyclist who spends most of his time on the road and has a wife and two baby boys at home. I never found time to travel to them and they never once mentioned coming to me. I regret not making the time after reading the report."

The CIRC report states it met riders and officials wherever and whenever it could.

His tweets: 
And then
But then
Seriously....just...stop.

 

Separated at birth



Gil-bear
 
 


 

Guardini gives Caleb Ewan the Bunny Ears




And on that note - out of here! Have a good week.















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