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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

#tdf133 The Finalists & Voting Updated

We made it!! Now all 21 finalists have been confirmed. It's time for people to vote for their favourite two tweets, ranking them 1 and 2 (1 = most favourite) in the comments section below using your twitter handle or url, or email me at tourdecouch@gmail.com 


Tell everyone about voting. Australian voters aged over 18 are eligible to win a two pack of wine from James Estate Wines - more details of James Estate here Non Australian voters will receive a prize but this will be finalised after announced. Winner and runner up of poetry prizes will win one of these prizes


OK now to the poetry:

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Australian Cycling Fans - Win a two pack of wine from James Estate Wines

Australian cycling fans aged over 18, win a two pack of wine from James Estate Wines just by voting for your favourite top two Tour de France poetry entries in the #tdf133 competition.  Vote here

James Estate Wines in the Upper Hunter Valley, New South Wales have kindly offered this prize.

Graeme Scott is not only chief winemaker there but he's also a top mountain bike trail designer in the making. Check out a couple of photos below from their awesome mountain bike trail at the winery which opened this weekend.



And here's the trails from above.



You can see more pictures of the trails on the James Estate Facebook page here and follow them while you're there and follow on Twitter here. You can order wine from the James Estate and Jimmy Jack range online here.

I personally can't wait to get up there in the next few months to combine my two loves - wine and bikes. If mountain biking is not your thing, James Estate also has a hiking trail. Wine, walking, riding - get there now!!

PLEASE NOTE: This prize is only available to Australian entrants aged over 18. I will get a prize to an non Australia winner (in addition to the Australian winner) of similar value but this won't be decided upon until both winners are announced.

Monday, July 23, 2012

#tdf133 The Finalists & Voting

We made it!! Now all 21 finalists have been confirmed. It's time for people to vote for their favourite two tweets, ranking them 1 and 2 (1 = most favourite) in the comments section below using your twitter handle  or url, or email me at tourdecouch[at]gmail.com 


Tell everyone about voting. At this stage I haven't confirmed the voter's prize but I will definitely be awarding something pretty cool, I'm just waiting on someone to get back to me. Voters will be placed on a list and chosen randomly. 


As for the winner and runner up prizes for the poetry, it's either one of these:


Cyclismas - The Peter Sagan Velvet Samurai T-Shirt
Share photos on twitter with Twitpic

Or a polka dot cycling cap from Rocket Fuel:


In the spirit of this competition, please note, if you do want to vote yourself and you've won more than one stage so far, please make one of the votes for someone else. 


Voting closes Thursday morning (26th July) here in Oz, so sometime during Wednesday everywhere else. I will announce it on Thursday evening or Friday. You will find out if you have won or not.

Ok the finalists:


Prologue:


198 men shouted "I Am Spartacus!" with every turn of the crank but in the end Fabian was fabulous, and maket his way into yellow.


Stage 1:



A Viking stowaway looks on as Sagan pirates Captain Fabs' sail, and California dreamin' crosses The Pond for a maiden Grand Boucle.

Stage 2:

Cav plays Lotto on the Edge: trainswapping his way past the Gorilla.

Stage 3:


brassyn7:27am via web
Life's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. Unless it's Peter Sagan & an uphill finish


Stage 5:



Stage 6:




cycletard1:15pm via TweetDeck
Swelling numbers narrow roads nervous stages territory skirmishes careless fans wheels touch skin shreds tempers flare angry words 


Stage 7:

brassynJul 08, 6:21am via web
Froome goes vroom, Wiggens embiggens and Evans is perfectly cromulent.

Stage 8:

annedisney75
1:13am via HootSuite
Stage Food: started with a broken carrot, and finished with a nice Pinot

Stage 9:

robwoozle9:15pm via Twitter for iPhone
Wiggins And Nairobi Krush Evans Reportedly #mnemonic

Stage 10:

sansenmagJul 12, 10:02am via web
Come the climbs, valieses of valour opened on mountain high with Voeckler seizing extra panache (hidden in sock) to outwit Voigt.

Stage 11:
LeTourFranglais7:17am via TweetDeck
Froome chassait Nibbles down si fort / Il laissait Sticks for dust!/ Le noise! Les radios, sur le blink!/ Rolland: ravi, Evans: bust

Stage 12:

cycletard7:56am via TweetDeck
Grey knight Millar soldiers on for his Argyle army, racing through the dark to snatch sweet victory in the daylight of Davézieux. 

Stage 13:
annedisney75Jul 15, 9:14am via HootSuite
Liberte: baby Spartacus free! Egalite: all are equally powerless against Greipel. Fraternite: yellow leadout for EBH Sky brother

Stage 14:

joepabikeJul 16, 12:31pm via web
Tacks at top of Mur de Péguère = nail in the coffin of those hoping for action in #TdF12stage 14! 

Stage 15:

LeTourFranglais6:23am via TweetDeck
Le ditty de stage 15: Le rest day came un jour too soon / Le peloton ont nappé / Vande Velde! Un bon try / Fédrigo l’happé chappé

Stage 16:

annedisney75Jul 19, 12:53am via HootSuite
Day of Spotty Tongue of Tommy. Froome out of nowhere a Leaky attack thwarted by Yellow Skyburns. Teejay Van NewBMCteamleaderen

Stage 17:

sansenmagJul 20, 8:10am via web
Green Bullet's bullseye and Bobblehead's bloodied handlebars decorate the mountain crime scene across the Sky of yellow and black. 


Stage 18:
RodIsBikeJul 21, 9:09am via Mobile Web
Another fine dish from Sky. Hors d'oeuvres avec Vino, desserts sought by Farrar. Mais ici le plat chaud, Wiggo servi Cav-iar 

Stage 19:

RodIsBike8:11am via Mobile Web
Le TejayV a grand vitesse mais Cadel was in mild distress. Voila toutes cent cinquante trois. Enfin Wiggo est vraiment roi 

Stage 20:

Ben_M_Berry3:16am via TweetDeck
Sky launches a celebratory Missile to culminate Wiggo's victory parade into Paris


Sunday, July 22, 2012

#TDF133 Stages 16-19 Winners

Sorry I've been a bit slack with updates on the competition. It's almost finished, but there's still tonight's stage for you guys to tweet about. Updates and finalists (plus voting details) up tomorrow (Australia's tomorrow).

Stage 18 and 19 saw RodisBike come home strong with two stage wins.

Stage 19
RodIsBike8:11am via Mobile Web
Le TejayV a grand vitesse mais Cadel was in mild distress. Voila toutes cent cinquante trois. Enfin Wiggo est vraiment roi 

Stage 18


RodIsBikeJul 21, 9:09am via Mobile Web
Another fine dish from Sky. Hors d'oeuvres avec Vino, desserts sought by Farrar. Mais ici le plat chaud, Wiggo servi Cav-iar 


Stage 17

sansenmagJul 20, 8:10am via web
Green Bullet's bullseye and Bobblehead's bloodied handlebars decorate the mountain crime scene across the Sky of yellow and black. 


Stage 16

annedisney75Jul 19, 12:53am via HootSuite
Day of Spotty Tongue of Tommy. Froome out of nowhere a Leaky attack thwarted by Yellow Skyburns. Teejay Van NewBMCteamleaderen

Snarky Couch Snacks: Fair is Foul and Foul is Fair*

It was rather odd the first time we heard Froome may be unhappy at Sky was through a bitchy tweet to Mrs Wiggo from Michelle Cound, who since Wiggins' outburst I can't help thinking it has a T in place of a D, no offence meant there to Ms Cound.

I can't help thinking this was perhaps her reaction when Froome signed for another three years after the Vuelta:

What thou art promised: yet do I fear thy nature;
It is too full o' the milk of human kindness
To catch the nearest way: thou wouldst be great;
Art not without ambition, but without
The illness should attend it: what thou wouldst highly,
That wouldst thou holily; wouldst not play false,
And yet wouldst wrongly win: thou'ldst have, great Glamis,
That which cries 'Thus thou must do, if thou have it;
And that which rather thou dost fear to do
Than wishest should be undone.' Hie thee hither,
That I may pour my spirits in thine ear;
And chastise with the valour of my tongue
All that impedes thee from the golden round,
Which fate and metaphysical aid doth seem
To have thee crown'd withal.
And as she saw the Tour unfold and Froome being, as she calls it, a loyal dog (and that cats are better than dogs), did she say this:

Was the hope drunk
Wherein you dress'd yourself? hath it slept since?
And wakes it now, to look so green and pale
At what it did so freely? From this time
Such I account thy love. Art thou afeard
To be the same in thine own act and valour
As thou art in desire? Wouldst thou have that
Which thou esteem'st the ornament of life,
And live a coward in thine own esteem,
Letting 'I dare not' wait upon 'I would,'
Like the poor cat i' the adage? .....
What beast was't, then,
That made you break this enterprise to me?
When you durst do it, then you were a man;
And, to be more than what you were, you would
Be so much more the man. Nor time nor place
Did then adhere, and yet you would make both:
They have made themselves, and that their fitness now
Does unmake you. I have given suck, and know
How tender 'tis to love the babe that milks me:
I would, while it was smiling in my face,
Have pluck'd my nipple from his boneless gums,
And dash'd the brains out, had I so sworn as you
Have done to this.

His reaction. Peyragudes.

While Froome may not have the crown this year, he perhaps may not be at Sky come 2013 (via @cyclingfans):
"Froome didn't listen to me. He was clumsy and tactless on Peyragudes. He has a lot to learn." (Sean Yates, Sky, L'Equipe) And:

L'Equipe: "Is it true Froome asked (before St 11) if he could attack 3km from finish on La Toussuire?" - Yates: "I won't comment on that"

Is this what Miche...I mean, they wanted, almost near approval from Sky to #freefroome from his multi million dollar dog pound? Were they just team shopping? If he does go, it will be interesting to see how he performs as the "leader" of another team. But from the looks of this picture surely he will miss Wiggo:
 
Looks like rumours (AKA Holm talks to the media) are in full swing for Cavendish leaving Sky for OQPS. But that guy is more loyal than Froome so this is still hard to believe, although it would make sense. If he does leave, this year's Tour didn't mean it was a mistake for Cav to be there this year, he needed Sky and all things access all areas Team GB for the Olympics.


Anyway, all this Michelle Cound stuff has taught me that if my husband doesn't a get a pay rise or the recognition he deserves next year, I'm going to say something on Twitter about it or in a public forum his boss and his company is sure to see. After all, fair is foul and foul is fair.

I hope there's vision of the Sky after party especially if it goes like this: (in Australia, we would probably call it Scrag Wars):



Please note: @brassyn on twitter gave me the idea for Michelle as Lady Macbeth. 

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

#tdf133 Stages 13-15

Stage 15 Winner:

LeTourFranglais6:23am via TweetDeck
Le ditty de stage 15: Le rest day came un jour too soon / Le peloton ont nappé / Vande Velde! Un bon try / Fédrigo l’happé chappé

Stage 15 Honourable mentions:

RodIsBike9:15am via web
The riders at the start ran loose. As if upon immodium. But then the race was very dull. 'til Fedrigo took the Pau-dium 

cycletard
Stage 15, a break can't stick, Sky hand signals won't do the trick. Then 6 guys get off the hook & the trip to Pau is a boring book.

Peleton: "are we there yet?" Viewers: zzzzzzzzzzzz 

Booooooooooring. That is all.

Stage 14 Winner:

joepabikeJul 16, 12:31pm via web
Tacks at top of Mur de Péguère = nail in the coffin of those hoping for action in #TdF12stage 14! 

Stage 14 Honourable Mentions:

CycleHermitJul 16, 11:56am via Twitter for iPhone
The reports of chivalry's death are greatly exaggerated. 

With climbs as sharp as the tacks on the road it was a climber who made one LuLu of a descent into Foix saying sayonara to Sagan.

Jul 16, 7:20am via web
Cadel & co under at-tack, unwritten rulebook found to lack. Rolland declares "je ne sais pas" as LL San owns the descent into Foix.



Ben_M_BerryJul 16, 4:56am via TweetDeck
With climbs as sharp as the tacks on the road it was a climber who made one LuLu of a descent into Foix saying sayonara to Sagan.

BW: "Oi, Rolland, get back here you uncouth wanker" Rolland: "it tacks one to know one"#tdf133

Le ditty: Showgirls! Dans les Pyrénées! / Froome says he’s frustré / Cadel puncture, Rolland attaque / Un wristslap pour Tejay

Limoux to Foix owattaday, the stage win a canny breakaway. For all the rest the stage fell flat w/punctures galore in a TackAttack.


Potential disaster averted by a forgiving Sky. Hire car in a hurry to be returned, followed by angry mob. Deflating stage all round #tdf133

Tour de France opens a new chapter in fiscal policy as authorities universally applaud tacks avoidance measures by riders #TDF133

BAD NEWS: Nontaxable team attacked by tacks left fans tachycardic today. GOOD NEWS: tactful tactic leaves GC intact.

edgariglesias
Jul 16, 11:15am via Twitter for Android
#tdf133 LuisLe gets 1st Spanish victory with a great attack. Brave like a Lion ¡Bravo León! Cadel was lack of luck because the tacks.

Stage 13 Winner:

annedisney75Jul 15, 9:14am via HootSuite
Liberte: baby Spartacus free! Egalite: all are equally powerless against Greipel. Fraternite: yellow leadout for EBH Sky brother


Stage 13 Honourable Mentions:


cycletardJul 15, 2:05am via TweetDeck
Hat trick for Greipel, who schools Sagan in sprint as Germany and Belgium win lottery on Bastille Day, spoiling Slovak celebration.

Bastille Day! Les français/ wanted to be les vainqueurs/Mais Greipel took it sur la ligne/ Et no-one disait [insertez Wiggoese ici]

A glimpse of Olympic Gold gulps up LuLu's late salvo; and "The Godfather" André grabs victory by the length of a gorilla's arms

#tdf133 Brave breakaway brought back by bunch. Evans explodes excitingly. Sky steady. Greipel gritty & gleeful. Wiggins waits warily.

That is no guerilla gorilla attacking the peloton; that is Greipel treading over stage winning dreams from Morkov to Sagan.

RodIsBike
Britain's Got Talent. Maillot Jaune multi-tasks as lead out man, but the Peter André twins top the chart today. André 1 Peter 2 


Saturday, July 14, 2012

2012 #tdf133 Stage 12

Tough choice again. Cycletard just pips out Anne for the win.

Winner:

cycletard7:56am via TweetDeck
Grey knight Millar soldiers on for his Argyle army, racing through the dark to snatch sweet victory in the daylight of Davézieux. 





Honourable mentions:


annedisney7512:05pm via HootSuite
Green battle ends in GreenEdge tears. Garmin navigation system finally delivers a break. It's Millar time!



robwoozle9:27am via Twitter for iPhone
Aussie legends Rogers & Porte keep Wiggo safe. Morons boo them. Evans fights. Millar massacres majority.


CycleHermit2:44am via HootSuite
Millar doles out the lemonade to Garmin devotees, and a devious deviation draws displeasure from the Green dynamo


Le ditty: Un stage très long! Un petit nap…/ Soudain! It all kicks off!/ Millar contrôle la pétite groupe/ Win magique pour le Scot

RodIsBike9:11am via Mobile Web


Brits on a roll, a real thriller. Olympic warm up stays on track, enchante Captain Millar