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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

That's so Couch: The Chloe's,the Trailer-House of Hooch & the fracking TDU

The Chloe Hosking Award (The Chloe's ™ ) for being a real Pat

1. All the folks won over by the "bugger all" phrase by CA's President. Does anyone read to the end of articles any more? Sure, CA gave her an un-fine/fine, that's pretty cool,but at the end of the piece, he says the same thing as Pat. 

2.'Ol One Ball talking about Pat and Hein's shitty little lawsuit against anti doping crusader, Paul Kimmage.

But this week's Chloe goes to ARD Sportschau. Challenging Bernstein and..I always forget the other one...for best investigative journalism ever, it linked sportspeople such as Marcel Kittel to a Doktor who did stuff to 50mls of blood using special performance enhancing rays from the sun and injecting the special performance enhancing rays back into the naive ill dumb 18 year old cyclist, in 2008. ARD didn't really bother to mention some of the facts, leaving it to 1t4i - who ARD also didn't bother to approach - to stand up for Marcel. If journalists, bloggers, pitchfork wiedling tifosi etc want to see the consequences of thirsting too much for the skinny, read the facts, which nobody can deny, see Marcel Kittel's twitter timeline, the article from Cycling News he links there and think of how he must be feeling.

Fracking Tour Down Under

Saw a lot on the Twitters about how uninspiring the TDU is/was. "These People" probably pay to watch the Belgian beer brewing process, from field to monkery while eating la tarte aux panache and wearing authentic replica $200 baby poo coloured woolen jerseys, and cycling caps advertising a pen company. Sure, it could be better and there's suggestions all over the place how that could happen, but These People didn't even notice Will Clarke's break away panache. And These People ™ are all about the panache. 

Nor did they see the exciting racing and sprint finishes or the riders and the crowds loving the TDU's guts out. What does the TDU have to do for These People ?  Pay a few million bob to a 7 time Tour de France winner to race it? Um... Hang on. Only one thing for it - get Tommy Voeckler down here, stat. These People think he's fully sick. Noone comes close, not Cadel on Stage 18 and 19 of the TDF last year, not even Jens. Even when Tommy sucks the wheel of the man in front of him on a crepe parcours with a French or Belgian industrial estate as the back drop, they whimper, La petite mort.

Who could forget about the Vanity Van of Food Consumption at last year's TDF, AKA  O'Grady's Autobus of Booze. A re-name is fitting for the new year and the new team, and a new boozy incident: Stuey's (Jayco) Trailer-House of Hooch

If you live under a rock you may not have heard about the assault allegations made against Stuey by a car driver taking him home to Green Edge plankets just before the TDU. Stuart said the allegations were ridiculous and while it got some oxygen on a dodgy "current affairs" show in Australia, it fortunately went nowhere.

Jane Aubrey from Cycling News told us at the time about the driver:
For non Australians, this is Fat Cat:



Stuey tweeted this the other day:
@ozcycling Dan. I searched the bottle shop with my dad for ages searching for the golden drop that turned me from fatcat to tiger! No go...
— STUART O'GRADY (@StueyOG) January 28, 2012

So it's not hard to believe Stuey didn't deny being "happy". Stuey said he was guilty of no more than a singalong.

Probably singing the Green Edge team song no doubt:



Sean Yates got all pissy at Green Edge winning the race, you know because if it wasn't for Flecha, their first year would've looked...potentially how the rest of Green Edge's season may look. White took the bait. Sometimes That's So correspondent, Natalie (@brassyn) put it best "I fail to see how Sean Yates saying greenedge have january chubs means anything in relation to the olympics. redundant pissing contests"


Cities around America still having trouble with cleaning up those pesky Occupy protestors, you need help from these guys from the TDU:




This is just one of the things they're probably protesting and concerned about. Do a Google search for Coal Seam Gas and Santos and you'll find plenty of things people are pissed off about and why. In a quest to be fair, here's the fracker's view of fracking.

Disappointing though not many questions about the fracking issue seemed to surface from any corner (other than protestors) at or around this event. Sure, you say, there's a time and a place. Yep, that time and a place is at sporting events. Sport and politics rub shoulders all the time, pissed as farts in the VIP tents and ending up in bed together, so why not use it to raise real issues?  

When famous cricketers and cycling mix - for good



They're doing the Paris-Roubaix route along the way!!