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Saturday, July 9, 2011

That's so TDF - The Muppet Show

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Kermit: It's the Muppet Show! (cue theme) - with special guests Bruyneel and Peeters.

(Statler and Waldorf sing their bit as usual)

Why do we always come here
I guess we'll never know
It's like a kind of torture
To have to watch the show 


Kermit: Hi-ho Kermit the frog here.  But first up this evening - Animal Boonen. (Animal is rubbing his head gingerly) Oh Animal. You look a bit...sick, do you think you can perform tonight
Animal Boonen: Ride Bike...Ride Bike.
Kermit: hmmm ok. Maybe he's not ready to perform tonight. OK, then how about you Beaker Horner?
Beaker Horner: Meep meep
Kermit: hmmm.....Oh, well, sounds like they cant go on. Peeters and Bruyneel, what do you think?
Peeters: Bugger the doctors, I let the riders make up their own mind. They're the ones who know their bodies the best. Leaving the tour is something a doctor can't decide, it is after all the tour, which I reminded Boonen three times when he came back to the car today.
Kermit: OK - and Johan?
Johan: Ditto Kerms. Pretty fortunate for me they choose to go on when they can, what with all the shit I'm in.
Statler: Ha.
Waldorf: What's so funny?
Statler: How could riders decide for themselves if they could ride on or not? Cyclists aren't the sharpest tool in the Lezyne box.
Waldorf: What do you mean?
Statler: Well, many of them take cancer drugs but they don't have cancer, they cite footprints on the moon quote, but don't believe the moon landing happened, and they see obstetricians but they don't have vaginas or a uterus. Bah hah...although, some of them are right c...
Animal vomits.
Sam the Eagle - This is not wholesome. This is not cultural.


Looks like German broadcasters ARD and ZDF are getting some abuse in regards to their quest for  wholesome entertainment. After pulling TDF coverage in 2007 after another scandal, they scaled back to just a daily wrap up show. Next year they won't even show that..ever again. They cited insignificant viewer interest but with their alleged emphasis on doping, it's not hard to see the reason is doping. It's also not hard to see why there was little viewer interest if their emphasis was on doping. 'Yeah, we want scrutiny, but show us some fricking bike racing.' Kloden has a point about how it seems only cycling's navel is gazed at by insiders and outsiders. But then so did the guy he @replied the f word to. What was it he said again? Something about the Freiburg report? Here's also an analysis of this issue in Fabianese about the Womens' World Cup dope bust.


But the muppets forget one thing. If the media had to cover these positive tests at the Women's soccer world cup, it would also mean they'd have to cover....women's sport.

Speaking of not wholesome and Radioshack, in Stage 6 we were treated to what @sister_ratched described as 'Andouilettes! Tripe sausage todger action...' Yes it was Radioshack nature break. Apparently, lots of riders were fined that day for the very same thing, but Radioshack somehow escaped. It was probably because like me, the Commissaire who had to watch that footage to make a decision ran screaming from the TV. I too did not want to take in what over 20 years of 'preparing' (copyright, the Flammecast) for races had done to those codger's todgers. All I can say is I'm not sure I could look at Cassoulet in the same way again. 


And finally- today's That's so TDF was brought to by the letter G. (sorry about the Jim Henson crossover)


Was he talking about the Vanity Van of Food Consumption (copyright Brassyn) - also known as the Magic Disco Biscuit Truck - or the guys from Hide the Toblerone. 





Thank you and goodnight.

1 comment:

  1. I call Vacansoleil the disco buiscuits squad (because they are mental and a bit scary).

    Ah, Kloeden. There are no words!

    This: "Well, many of them take cancer drugs but they don't have cancer, they cite footprints on the moon quote, but don't believe the moon landing happened, and they see obstetricians but they don't have vaginas or a uterus. Bah hah...although, some of them are right c...
    Animal vomits.". Bang on.

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