Wednesday, June 29, 2011

That's so Couch - that's so Haven

Cache Cache Witness Tampering?

Where's Lance

OK OK, so Tourdecouch is a bit behind with the whole Cache Cache thing.  We all know the story by now.  If not, you’ll find a detailed summary here.  
Quickly though, Tyler was going out for some eats as a guest of Outside magazine in a restaurant in Colarado, Cache Cache. The owner rings up the Yellow Livestrong phone in Texas to say “you’ll never guess who’s here?”  Lance fires up N7LA and he’s there at the restroom within moments.   Apparently he said “I’ll destroy you in there that witness box” or something like that.  And according to rumours, there was also some stuff said about some lady called Haven?   

Or was he?  The restaurant owner and some random patron, later seen eating from a white lunch bag given to him by Lance, said he never left the stool. While those are words we also hope were uttered in 500 of his doping control tests, here’s another guy who never left his bar stool. And this lady looks like she’s spent a lot of time on a bar stool too.  Bet Lance has never been to that restaurant.  

Anyway, the Feds are said to be looking into whether there was any witness tampering in the toilet. Tourdecouch is more worried about people who are allowed to name their kid Haven. 

Tastes like chicken

Of course you also heard the one about the five Mexican soccer players busted for clenbeuterol and then blaming it on the chicken they ate. While tourdecouch often finds entertainment observing cyclists/ex cyclists, it’s also amusing to sit back and watch some journalists too. They guffawed and cried on twitter, “chicken? what’s next tofu?”  like only beef has clenbeuterol in it or something.  Are they questioning that chickens are never given clenbeuterol? Or its not plausible meat in Mexico is tainted? Surely a five second google search would help solve that puzzle.  While Tourdecouch is neither here nor there in regards to believing in athletes and their excuses, I’m definitely firm in my belief status in journalists who can’t even u-google –lise.

The Tour always brings out the sartorial brilliance

- Rug up in France in July with this LT scarf, at 69 euro, it's made from a mixture of unicorn tears and the best fabric.

 - Check out the mod goodness here of Wiggo.  Team Sky brings out the rainforest cause again to look different to Garmin in the peloton

- And Nike not to be outdone by Le Coq Sportif brings in a new shirt especially for the tour. Shit you not.  UPDATED: this product is no longer available, apparently. But here is what it looked like.

Cav gets an MBE

Again, behind on the news .  Cav got an MBE -  for his spelling on Twitter.  At first I thought it was a ghost tweeter, but surely he/she wouldn’t be there when Cav’s about to have a shower, when he’s cuddled up with the missus, and when he’s checking out the Velits twins’ legs.  

Why the surprise? The guy who brought us that articulate victory sign last year can actually spell and string two sentences together.  I think I’ve only seen one mistake so far.  That’s better than all the other English-is-surprisingly-their-first-language tweeting cyclists - and many cycling blogggers.   

Vomatron award
 - Goes to, not Wiggins for his impersonation of a pregnant northern England 15 year old, but this from Trek via Leopard Trek on Facebook:   
- If we could change our status, we'd be "In a relationship" with "Winning"." by Trek Bicycle

Leopard Trek Training Camp Video
And to get you all in the mood as the behind the scene vids from Leopard Trek are always pretty inspiring and awesome, here's latest mini doco inside their training camp, a great insight into what’s been happening:   

1 comment:

  1. "Leopard Trek Training Camp Video"
    Ahahahahaha. Amazing. Cackling away here.