Friday, July 9, 2010

That's so couch/TDF -LA's Sheryl Crow impersonation, I come bearing gifts, WAG bra strikes

Caption Competition

As it was nothing, and it is "irresponsible to say anything different" I haven't posted 'that' photo of a big scary monster bullying a skinny little kid.  I'm also concerned they might ask me to take it down, as it was rumoured Twitter was asked to do.  So here's my impressionist-esque view:

So, what was really being said:

a) Still waiting on the watch even gave Horner one...

b) You didn't say anything to the feds about our coffee with the UCI tester last year did you?  Did you?!!!
c) crash...crash....crash...CRASH
d) Grrr...your ad with Andy is WAY BETTER THAN ANY OF MINE - I WAS ROFL 
e) shit Berty, I think a photographer just caught me in the middle of my 'Sheryl waking up in the morning' impersonation.Yeah, I know, it's pretty funny hey?  Oh that's good too Pistolero, 'Noone's strong enough to be her man when she's like that'  LOL.  

Forget the captions, Astana and Radioshack had their own versions of what was said:

'Lance, via his Press Manager Mark Higgins, Armstrong told VeloNews he hadn’t spoken with Contador — not during Tuesday’s stage, nor at any other point during the Tour.'
'Contador’s press manager Jacinto Vidarte told VeloNews via email, “Alberto asked Lance about the fall the previous day, how he was — just a little conversation, both inquiring about the health of each other.”
“They didn’t talk here, but they talk in the race,” Bruyneel said.

First the cobbles, then the mind games - Alberto the all-arounder

He came bearing gifts.  Lance said he didn't talk to him,  he was in the middle of ahem, something else. Johan said it was a nice gesture and that Alberto has been messaging them to arrange the giving of the gifts all year, but didn't say what the gifts were. Fran said they were watches, like the ones he gave the rest of the team last year, but JB/LA missed out on getting theirs because they were at another party. Alberto's had a couple of times to give them their gifts, but he chose the Tour to do so, sans minders at the Radioshack bus, a couple of days after the cobbles stage, one stage after that photo, whether it wasn't what it appeared to be or not.  Alberto's not just a good climber.   

More on the gift:
Alberto hearing about Lance's new found love of a certain film series, changed the present and bought him a different watch.  Strangely enough it turned up later on ebay:

Condition: New with tags: A brand-new, unused, and unworn item in the original packaging.  Unwanted present.  Unwanted because I'm Team Beefcake. 

It does have engraving on it: "Dear Juan, Happy Retirement. You went to Paris last year and all you got was this watch. Cheers, Pistolero"

Bids start at $10,000 via chalkbot at 


"Describes himself as having crashed down to earth from being on a cloud, which hurt badly.Says he's learned a big lesson." Cyclesport Mag's reporting of Cav's comments

"Great to see cav win today. His emotional response was the real cav. The one we all love and respect." George Hincapie 

"media gave him a lot of negative press the last 6 months, now (they'll) be blowing wind up him again  (that's what) probably rubs Wiggo the wrong way...fairly hypocritical but that's the job." Robbie McEwen

WAGs bra strike

Forget cobbles and Holland's narrow roads, there's a far more dangerous peril out there for the peloton.  WAGs on bra strikes (G also stands for groupies).  How could they stay on their bikes after that? Gaining inspiration from new patron of the peloton, Fabian 'if he's not on BMC next year I will eat my vintage cycling cap' Cancellara, Chiara, patron of the WAGs, has initiated a regular bra strike:

"Just for girls: can I promote a 'bra free day'? I had enough of it! Men can't understand.."
"Ok girls, Bra Free Day has officially started! just make sure u don't go into air conditioned rooms or where it's too cold.....he he ;o)" 

Cadel nearly fell off his bike, or, sent his missus an intimate message:

"@cadelofficial hey, aren't you supposed to race? don't get distracted mate!" Chiara tweeted back.  Can you blame the man? He's a World Champion but he's still human. 

And we know riders can get a bit lonely.  Part homo erotic, part dante's cove, if you're not laughing by the time the saxophone cranks up in the background, you're not human:


  1. *You went to Paris last year and all you got was this watch, Kloden, Leipheimer, Zubeldia, Horner, Brajkovic, Popovych, Paulinho, Vaitkus, Rast, Rubiera and Muravyev. Cheers, Pistolero

  2. That's a great comment on so many levels, and i think i get the level you mean. something about an "i"....? :)

  3. Normally every time I see the younger Roche I start singing 'Nico, Nico' to the tune of Peter Gabriel's Biko in my head.

    Not anymore.