Friday, April 23, 2010

That's so couch - 23 April 2010

Cycling to get a mockumentary?

It was a little funny TourdeCouch was reminded of the matching coldsore scene in Spinal Tap when both Johan and Lance were sick with the same thing, but Spinal Tap star  and thinker upperer of his own mockumentaries  Christopher Guest hanging out with Lance wasn’t something I was therefore then expecting. As a fave of the Couch’s, it was at first, disappointing. But my thoughts soon turned to comfort:

A) his arms are crossed in this photo – body english for “I hate being here”
B) he’s doing it for cancer
C) he took pity on The Shack and Lance for worst use of celebrity in an ad ever -
D) he was after material for a cycling mockumentary

D was my favourite thought. Lance and the cycling world and its history would provide much material for a mockumentary. Lemond, rivalries, and the badger too? You can’t make that shit up.

But it’s more like C – because I then discovered that Guest directed a series of ads for livestrong like this one  and this one  which I’m sure you’ll agree are just a bit better than the universe one…. (shudder)

Overheard at the Radioshack dinner table at Pais Vasco

Horner: Hey Li, want some of my fries
Li: No dude….I’m not really that hungry
Horner: Oh ok…but we’ve got another hard stage tomorrow, you gotta carb load and you've got to keep up with us old bastards.
Li: Yeah, I suppose you’re right. Even though I’m not hungry I can’t have that many carbs
Horner: Oh yeah, why
Li: I’m a little bit…insulin resistant….
Horner: Hmm. But you're looking more muscly and lost a bit of fat, what’s your secret?
Li: Um…lay off the McDonalds, I can’t believe you put that shit in your body

Which brings us to the:

The Cycling Rivalries


1st Pais Vasco
10th Amstel Gold


94th Pais Vasco
DNF Amstel Gold

Cadel v Contador

Understated, keepin' it cool

It's e-naf now

Cav v…Gr….no…Cav
We heard it all – Cav saying he was better than Greipel, then an article in Guardian with more choice quotes, then pretty much a near breakdown by the time he made it to Kimmage where he inadvertently admits that he really does need his family but he pushed them away.  And there was also this.
Cav:  “It might not be this year but I know I can get back, and then no-one will remember this. So it’s just putting up with it, just getting through it. I have real downers, really big downers.”

PK:  “When did you last have a downer?”

Cav “Recently. I wouldn’t have said that shit last week [he made headlines for an attack on his teammate and fellow sprinter Andre Greipel — ‘me on bad form is still better than him’] if I wasn’t on a downer. But sometimes you are not yourself and it’s easy to get down.”
He’s got his critics for a lot of things, but Cav always ends up being honest and pointing out that he stuffed up.

One thing I was comforted by from this article was it wasn’t the fault of the NHS for the state of his teeth – stupid bugger went training too hard too soon…and his gums bled.  My faith in socialist health policies is restored.

But let’s hope someone’s got Cav’s non-cycling back and he’s not just good for another headline…..especially a tragic one.

Twit's and blog's so couch

Cyclist and a gentleman - not going to quote what he wrote, but Robbie Hunter did what most press did about Terreblanche murder - confused homosexual sex with rape. 

Watch out London cyclists, Graham Watson is in town:
"..see what happens when you Tweet while driving in London..! I meant to say.." 3:24 AM Apr 16th via Tweetie
And watch out the Chinese-English:
Very trusting, these Vietnamese people - the Chinese would have taken me hostage until the morning... 2:26 PM Apr 18th via Tweetie

A first 4 me - resto' didn't take cards, no cash machine working nearby, went back to hotel without paying for my dinner! Will pay Monday... 2:24 PM Apr 18th via Tweetie
Johan Bruyneel tweeted this warning to Cancellara about his multi-wins after Devlaeminck arrogantly said he would've beaten Cancellara: 
Reading the reaction of Roger Devlaeminck after Paris-Roubaix. Winning that race 4 times must leave some brain damage. Pay attention Fabian!   9:36 AM Apr 11th via Seesmic 
Johan would know, he's seen this stuff before:
 Lance to John Wilcockson in 2008 in his cloyingly titled book "I'll kick their asses.  The Tour was a bit of a joke this year. I've got nothing against Sastre … or Christian Vande Velde. Christian's a nice guy, but finishing fifth in the Tour de France? Come on!"
Lance tweeted this about doping control 
"9:15pm. Bunch of kids over for a sleepover w/ the Armstrong kids. How to make it awkward? USADA shows up demanding blood and urine. #really?
But remember when he said this to John Wilcockson again for his book:
"I'm doing this for my kids...with news so accessible these days on the web, they'll be able to read any story they want. And I don't want them growing up and reading all these things about me and doping."
But they don't even have to google it, they only have to read his tweets to see his views on doping control.

And lastly, a rather telling quote from a website about Clenbuterol   (my emphasis)

The drug hangs around in meat animals, which alarms pharmacologists. The drug is known as a 'repartitioning agent' which means it reduces fat and increases muscle in animals, thus the use for producing a better meat animal -- that also produces residues of the drug in the food supply
More love songs and dedications

Tourdecouch leaves you with more love songs and dedications from one of Guest’s mockumentaries A Mighty Wind (also written by Eugene Levy,the guy singing).  Catherine O’Hara had not used an auto harp ever but ended up doing all this live.  The first one is played live at a concert for filming.  The second one too was performed at this live concert, but this one's from the Oscars as it received a nomination.  It's a pity though I couldn't find the Sureflo song!

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