Wednesday, July 1, 2009

No Tour de Couch, I’m off to France…maybe - Tour Prep Diary Entry # 2

11 June 2009

I am going to France. I WILL win the trip to the Tour, drawn today. Am already thinking what I’ll show the boyf (Tour Widow or TW) who’s never left Australia.

We’ll go a few weeks before; I’ll show him the hills of Provence and the stooping sunflowers, the Chateau where I stayed in the summer of 2003, the evident trenches of the Western Front, and, how Sparkling Wine got its name. In Paris, I'll point out the good places to snog AND to propose to someone. Here too, I’ll show him where Hitler jigged and where Diana crashed.

We’ll drive through the Tour towns and stop to watch Renshaw lead out Cav in the bunch sprint at La Grande-Motte, cheer on Mick as he pulls clear of the other GC contenders on the Col du Petit-Saint-Bernard, and as Lance rides past us on the other Bernard, we’ll bottle his sweat and hair for cloning.

Maybe too the boyf will dispel his stereotypes of the French which I know he only exaggerates to bait me in my oft times pretentious Francophilia.

12 June 2009

Didn’t win. Probably a good thing for the following reasons:

  1. I wouldn’t want to miss the live SBS One/Two Coverage of the Tour, including Le Taste.
  2. Also wouldn't want to miss out on more hard-hitting journalism from Grimmers, and her stoush with Ramsay (plus the equally hard-hitting journalism that was the coverage of the feud)
  3. TW has a milk allergy and I’m currently insulin resistant so cheese and starchy white high GI bread are off the menu
  4. Despite logic, I wouldn’t relax on the plane due to the very recent record of the competition’s carrier.
  5. I would run out of time to get Tour Widow to pronounce “Champs-Élysées” and “Parlez Vous Anglais” in not so Australian an accent, because, at the moment he sounds just like Kevin Rudd.

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