recumbent rider refusing to use the bike lane in peak hour traffic on Belconnen Way this morning... pic.twitter.com/Szwvp5NFyd
— Justin Barrie (@JustinBarrie) February 26, 2015
The Hubbard is Tourdecouch's lighter look at the world of pro cycling, with a bit of news curation on the side
Whoop AssRoman Kreuziger earlier this week declared no one can believe in the UCI. But after seeing the organising body in action, it's hard to believe in Roman. Despite Brian Cookson talking about opening another can here: "when you open a can of worms, you find a lot of worms," he also opened up another sort of can two times this week. A can of whoop ass.
The UCI proved it could not only beat up chauvinistic, aging and probably fat, Belgian white guys but take on some unethical Kazakhs like Vino and his crew, who Swedish rider Fredrik Keskiaoff this week confirmed probably wouldn't have you killed, but would definitely make you ride on with open wounds.
Many of course bemoaned the UCI's timing, citing important reasons such as people losing jobs and things, but unfortunately, the UCI had no other option given the cluster fudge that was Katusha and must do everything by the book.
Let's ignore ye olde worlde bike riders caught up in in the Astana/Ferrari/Padova investigation for a second. The newly nabbed Iglinsky brothers appeared to have doped just to keep their domestique spots on Astana. What, if anything, does that say about the peloton? Are answers to that question drowned out by Tinkov's vodka induced Twitter rants and riders talk of a new era? Meh, who knows.
Speaking of Tinkov, in what could be classed as a second episode of The Hubbard's "he could kill you...but" this week, he just settles for Astana and Drapac like:
(putting) fear into his riders and I’m sure it’s not ‘respect’ that the riders are feeling towards him. It’s definitely fear. From what I hear he’s a man who likes to shout and scream at the team when they screw up or don’t perform to the high level he expects. I don’t think he gets that races sometimes don’t go as planned. (excerpt from the latest The Secret ProAnyway, here's a Vine Astana posted when they were everyone's favourite team, way back at the Tour of Oman, when riders held power in their hands for five seconds, and the UCI still hadn't implemented an extreme weather policy not based on an ex cycling legend saving face with Omani officials: (officials, drowning in so many Western sporting events, they still renewed the contract for next year via Inner Ring):
Sand storm and extreme heat - ST5 #TourofOman cancelled @andreaguardini @vincenzonibali https://t.co/ViUmqAvPbD
— Astana Pro Team (@AstanaTeam) February 21, 2015
Madonna even made an unexpected appearance, getting swept away in it all:
Full EnglishAfter hearing Porte's attack in the Tour Down Under was also Sky Botted rather than pure race craft, - i.e. Sky Sports Scientist Tim Kerrison calculated right down to the millimetre where Porte should attack - it is refreshing to see some recent displays of humanity. No, not Stannard's monster ride to back up Omloop het Nieuwsblad wins, but the recent form of Porte and Chris Froome.
Finally, it looks like Kerrison and co have found a way to programme panache into the spreadsheets and the Power Enabling Database thingumajigs. Despite this, Froome can still be found posting tweets about how normal he is:
#TBT to the time @cyclesportmag questioned my British-ness I showed them... #throwbackthursday pic.twitter.com/dkSZxeSy3C
— Chris Froome (@chrisfroome) February 19, 2015
@fiona_skywalker how about a full English? pic.twitter.com/wqazD23py9Here is a photo after he ate that full English.
— Chris Froome (@chrisfroome) February 19, 2015
Milk is not what's for dinnerThe trailer belonging to Belgian cyclocross rider Tom Meeusen allegedly had traces of baby medicine Vaminolact and injecting paraphernalia. Vaminolact provides - to babies -"amino acids which the body uses to make proteins." So does drinking a glass of milk and maybe washing it down with a can of tuna or the other way around if that's what you prefer. But yeah, needles FTW!!
Speaking of needle addiction and Belgians caught up in doping rumours, apparently Greg van Avermaet is allegedly linked to some sort of doctor known to take out blood, do stuff to it, then inject it back in. Former BMC teammate Allesandro Ballan's already received a reduced sentence for a similar infringement.
Sure, Ballan still has Cadel Evans' blessing after such a practice, but can we not all agree that injections and taking blood out and stuff is just, like dumb, AND, NOT DO IT??
The Final CountdownBefore Thomas Dekker attempted riding around a velodrome trying not to spew or pass out for 60 minutes, AKA, the hour record, much discussion centred on the affect altitude would have on his performance. As he is a convicted doper, many thought his attempt at altitude was yet another cheaty van cheaterson edge people like Merckx (also a convicted doper, twice) apparently didn't get when he beat the record at altitude. Well, they didn't have to worry. The altitude affected more than performance. The on screen timing clock was at one point, over five minutes out of synch with the actual time of the rest of the earth.
Confirms on screen clock behind "@fabrizioviani: There you go his average speed you do the maths, I've done my bit pic.twitter.com/R8Cvr3eUlO"
— tourdecouch (@tourdecouch) February 25, 2015
In other news:- Ettix Quickstep Manager Patrick Lefevere cracks the Ompoops - at everyone but himself
- Chris Horner talks about the Tour of California and bores his baby to sleep:
Was having a serious chat with this guy, and he fell asleep on me! Might need to get him checked for narcolepsy... ;) pic.twitter.com/kgD4JUT8A4- Caroline Buchanan reveals her zombie apocalypse action plan
— Chris Horner (@hornerakg) February 27, 2015
Riding Bikes, Escaping Zombies & Saving The Day! Teaser #TheShapeOfThingsToCome @StealthElectric pic.twitter.com/MChcazCQaU- Secret training session of Australia's track team caught on camera
— Caroline Buchanan (@CBuchanan68) February 27, 2015
Had a day stop in Singapore so we went to Sentosa & found the Skyline Luge... Hilarious with a competitive bunch! pic.twitter.com/9nftPk1Lay- If you build it, they will photobomb:
— Anna Meares (@AnnaMeares) February 24, 2015
Team launch had the best #photobomb of 2015 so far @wigglebikeshop #WiggleCamp #wigglehonda #goodstuff pic.twitter.com/lFOrO6TAmT”Emotional moment
— Eileen Roe (@eileenroe1) February 26, 2015
@MelissaMHoskins , bombing with style! #goldenmoment pic.twitter.com/geZTFGDr5m
— Adam Lambert (@Moogsy17) February 24, 2015
Tweets of the WeekOl(i)g(arch) Tinkov tweets this forgetting where Steven de Jongh, Bobby Julich and Sean Yates used to work:
@markfreeman100 i secretly give you some tip, dont be too proud, your sky management has been involved in the past equally, but never admitCyclocross fan, @meowclank, tweeted this from the train straight after leaving the final cyclocross event of the season in Belgium:
— Oleg Tinkov (@olegtinkov) February 27, 2015
I am in mourning for #cxSeason :-(But the end of one season, brings on another - and its added benefits:
— MEOW (@meowclank) February 25, 2015
i am seeing the highlights of Omloop again. It is so beautiful I am having a tiny cobblegasm which sometimes is happening. It is ok.
— Kenny Van Vlaminck (@KVanVlaminck) February 28, 2015